Several of my colleagues have regularly worked at home over the years and are well set up. For some, work has gotten more intense, while others’ workloads have lightened. Others have parents or other older relatives who they are concerned about. Some are working at home with young children and are now tasked with homeschooling. Colleagues aren’t being affected by the crisis in the same ways. I see this play out daily in virtual meetings when someone asks people how they’re doing and one person says “Great!” and another mutters “Meh.” These are all valid responses, and we don’t have to have the same ways of coping.Ĭaza says the difference isn’t just in coping approaches, but in circumstances as well. There’s also a difference in how optimistic or pessimistic people feel. And some colleagues may throw themselves into work, finding comfort in being busy, while others struggle to keep up and stay focused. Some may be rigid about social distancing (that’s me) while someone else may take a more flexible approach. Others like to limit the amount of news they take in. Some individuals like to take in as much information as possible, spending hours on Twitter or reading article after article. In it, relationship expert Esther Perel pointed out that people often have different coping mechanisms. Accept that we’re all coping differently.Īnother coworker of mine shared an article about the strain on marriages during the crisis that shed some light on why things might feel tense in some of our working relationships. That sense that we’re in this together that can be uniting, even when - or because - we are under extreme duress. Coworkers - some of whom I don’t interact with very often - have reached out to see how I’m doing, and I, in turn, have done the same for others. I’ve seen this happen in the past few weeks. And because this crisis is global, almost everyone is affected in some way. Anytime things get shaken up, there’s a potential for a positive shift,” she explains. Remember this is an opportunity for connection.Ĭaza and her coauthors found in their research that “there were lots of triggers and pathways to fractures in relationships,” but there was also “the potential for stronger relationships in these stressful times. But how do you find and show empathy for coworkers when your cognitive resources are depleted? “It’s important to try to find ways to remain open to compassion, even when we’re overtaxed.” Worline and Jane Dutton, who co-wrote Awakening Compassion at Work, have done research that shows that compassion correlates with your own level of job satisfaction and the degree to which you find your work meaningful. This is not a time to move away from kindness and caring, even if our brains nudge us in that direction. “We unwittingly break our relationships with coworkers, causing more suffering.” This isn’t good for your interactions with your colleagues. We think we’re right and others are wrong,” she explains. “When we’re under severe stress, we go back to coping patterns that are familiar and very hardened in us, and we have a hard time seeing that there’s any other way to do what we’re doing. Unfortunately, in stressful situations our compassion goes out the window, according to Monica Worline, a research scientist at Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. They found that “anytime there’s external tension it can manifest between coworkers.” She and her coauthors reviewed 300 studies focusing on workplace relationships, relationship transgressions, and relationship repair. And the future of our jobs, our companies, and the economy is uncertain.Īll of this lays the groundwork for tension, says Brianna Caza, an associate professor of management in the Bryan School of Business and Economics at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. We’re dealing with unprecedented levels of stress and anxiety. It makes sense: Many of us are working in new and suboptimal conditions. I’ve heard from lots of friends that they’ve had similar moments of tension with their colleagues over the past few weeks. I didn’t want to be annoyed with my coworker. How could she let another person into her house at this time? Why isn’t she doing her part to flatten the curve? My feelings soon morphed into guilt and then into sadness and grief. My immediate thought was, “ That’s not social distancing.” For a split second I was mad at her. Late last week, a coworker told me on Slack that she was going to be offline for a bit while she greeted her babysitter, who was showing up any minute. I don’t know about you, but I’m finding it very easy to be judgmental these days. To get all of HBR’s content delivered to your inbox, sign up for the Daily Alert newsletter. In these difficult times, we’ve made a number of our coronavirus articles free for all readers.
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